craboholic, Here is one for you!
>>MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO
>>David M. Bresnahan
>>April 1, 2006
>>Dear President Bush:
>>I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,
>>would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the
>>from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I
>>help with this.
>>I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
>>quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you
>>So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that
>>my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the
>>1. Free medical care for my entire family.
>>2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might
>>whether I use them or not.
>>3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
>>4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
>>5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
>>6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the
>>pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
>>7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and
>>8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy
>>9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any
>>learn local traffic laws.
>>10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo
>>Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers
>>11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on
>>car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
>>complaints or negative comments from the locals.
>>12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,
>>don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
>>13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice
>>never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place
>>I know this is an easy request because you already do all these
>>all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres.
>>won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he
>>trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
>>Thank you so much for your kind help.
>>David M. Bresnahan